Make your declaration, baby. Throw spelling out the window.
I’m about to start a rigorous leadership program in a month.
On top of what I’m currently doing.
It’ll take up time. I’ll have to drive to places I don’t necessarily want to be.
As soon as I left the intro meeting I got triggered: The application is so long! Why do we have to show up twice in one week!? “But I’ve only just gotten my energy back, how will I do this on top of everything else?”
I freaked out and drove to a gas station after the meeting with one thought: Cheetos. En route, I talked to God. “Whaddya think? Like is it do-able? Can I still have peace of mind, which you know I worked so hard to get last year. I’m scared I’ll lose it. Can you give me a sign please?”
I throw Cheetos and fudge cookies on the register.
Guy smiles wide.
I laugh, embarrassed. “So much junk, right?!” If ever there was a moment of emotional eating, it was this :)
“I’m smiling because a beautiful woman is in front of me and I have to show her my kindness. The kind of woman who whatever she asks from God, she will get. You just have to ask. All you have to do is ask and you will get it.”
My head shoots up. I look directly in his eyes. Is this for real? He looks at me all twinkly.
Out of the blue he starts laughing like a cherub.
That fast though? It’s only been 30 seconds since I left the car.
I smile. “Why thank you. That’s lovely…it’s exactly what a woman wants. Your words are what I wanted to hear tonight.”
Grab my goodies and drive home.
God totes has ears.
The next morning I felt clear. I want to do the program.
But by mid-day fear crept back in.
I knew the cycle would continue unless I addressed it dead-on, so I called my coach.
He got right to the root. “Look, the breakdowns happened last year because you tried to do everything on your own (yes.) You tried to fix things (yes), you weren’t in communication (yes), and you declared things were hard and stressful (yes.) Since you didn’t communicate, your body internalized it and you lost your hair, got Gout, moved to Thailand, etc. Had you been communicating the entire time, you wouldn’t have had those breakdowns.”
Sounded too Sparta, not nuanced enough for me to *really* believe. BUT I did also feel more light hearted.
“If I don’t open my mouth, I have breakdowns. We all do, Ishita.”
‘I’m sick and tired’ is a declaration. You gotta watch your language. Be very careful about how you talk to yourself. Words are important.
YOUR word is powerful.
If you wake up, ‘Ugh. It’s gonna be a tough weekend, I have to travel for this program,’ it will be tough. Guaranteed. But if you wake up, ‘I’m gonna walk outta this weekend on fire because I’m getting exactly the training I want,’ you walk out on fire! I walked out with so much clarity when I did.”
I knew he was right. Even if the program was hard, my language made it harder: “I’m scared” “Lots of time” “Intense.”
“We declare we’re exhausted and overwhelmed. WE declare that. When I did the program 12 years ago, it was intense. When I did it two years ago it was totally fine. WHO’S doing the declaring? That’s what you gotta look at. Who are you being and who’s doing the declaring.”
YOU declare how it’s going to be for you.
“Change your language. ‘Stressed out’ is something we create to stop playing big. When I did it two years ago I had a company of 60 employees. It was 100% NOT do-able, but I did it anyway. I was confronted and you will be too. But I’ll be there and you’ll be in communication and it won’t show up like the breakdowns you had last year. So the minute you get hooked, deal with it directly. Ask, ‘What am I telling myself right now?’ ‘What am I committed to – being tired or walking outta there on fire because I’m up to things.”
I took it in. Really. And the rest of the day felt unstoppable because I declared I would be.
Watch your words, find your freedom.