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Do you add drama to your life without even realizing it? Maybe it’s unconscious. Maybe it’s a habit. Maybe you’re used to getting a certain feeling when you do.
In today’s video, I talk about different ways we add drama to our lives, even when we definitely don’t want to. This topic isn’t new; for years I noticed I would say things even when I didn’t want to and definitely when I didn’t need to. I’d fill space unintentionally out of habit. I was embarrassed that I did this and questioned the root of WHY did I behave this way.
For me, it turned out I wanted to “look good,” be accepted by the person I was talking to in the moment, or fill space so I felt less anxious. Watch the video for an example of something I said just a couple weeks ago that I really didn’t even want to say.
A few weeks ago, something big and lovely happened to me. I can’t tell you what it was because hello – moral of today’s story! I told a few of my close people this thing happened. And guess what – it felt good in the moment. It was a cool story. I got attention. Peeps wanted details.
Thing is: I felt like shit. I didn’t feel good once I shared it and there was residue once I got off the phone. You KNOW when you feel residue, “Did I need to say that?” “I didn’t *really* need to say that.” “Why did I tell her?” You know you overstepped your intuition and what’s right for you when you have a million questions, have a heavy heart, and lose some faith in yourself.
When it comes down to it, even though it wasn’t conscious, all I did was create shock value for a day. Personally, that’s a really stupid use of my energy. I do check myself before I wreck myself sometimes though.
Two months ago, my email and website was hacked. For an online business, this was a huge hit. I was also in the midst of a program launch, training a new team member, and running the usual parts of the business. I was totally overwhelmed by the expense, uncertainty, and not knowing how to manage it all.
Naturally, tears came first. I panicked. I think it’s totally fine to cry first. Do it.
But then I knew I had a choice.
Because the situation was already so intense, I could either add fuel to the fire – call my friends in tears, hear “it’s going to be okay” when they don’t really know and stay stuck in helpless energy. OR I could deal with it, get solutions from people who knew how to fix what needed to be fixed.
I’m SO glad I chose the latter. Don’t add more drama to your life during an already intense situation just to get sympathy or feel “supported” momentarily. Sometimes it’s fine, but personally the more I can empower myself, take action, get help from the right people, and then just go to my friends/family to say “we love you, sorry that happened” it works out WAY BETTER.
Do you add drama even when you don’t need or want to? Do you stir things up out of habit, to look a certain way, or to feel a certain feeling?
Gut check yourself and watch today’s video. I also give you 4 ways to stop adding drama that you might be doing right now:
1. Stop sharing unnecessary information just to fill space
2. Stop speaking or talking to create shock value or feel something
3. Stop complaining and/or speaking negatively about everything
4. Stop gossiping and/or adding fuel to fires when you don’t need to
Feel your emotions, but trust your gut: it will tell you when it’s truly necessary to share something. If you’re in this boat and need more help, email me and tell me what’s up. I’ll try to give you specifics as best I can, maybe write another post. And if you have people you love who add drama and need to stop, or who you know need to hear this message, share this video with them. Let’s make our world as drama-free as we can!