These phrases have great intentions, but offer less solace to those trying to make real change. While it may seem like the right thing to do, big sweeping decisions that alter the course of our lives can overshadow the smaller, more powerful lessons we can learn from these times. It doesn’t have to be, “Should I stay in this job or should I stay with my husband?” It can be much simpler: “Why do i feel this way about this person?” “Why haven’t I felt comfortable at this job?”  ”What efforts should I make now to get to where i want to be 3 years from now?”

Everything happens for a reason, but the reason is much simpler than we think. Perhaps it isn’t to teach every Wall St. analyst to quit his job, take up his dreams, and embark on a life based on his passions. What if the reason was just: learn something. Anything. About ourselves, our lives, our dreams, our goals. If instead of Earth-shattering realizations we learned the small lessons that ultimately created powerful changes in our lives, we would really be taking advantage of these troubling times.

Let’s not make it all or nothing. Let’s not get depressed if we’re unsure of our dream job or the career we want to create or be who we want to be. Let’s not feel upset at the person who uses this time to turn their life around and fulfill their dreams. Let’s create our own opportunity out of these times and learn something that sustains us for true transformation.

Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, though we fight to make it so. Sometimes it does, but it’s not fun to wait around for it. Embrace new ideas and goals and paths in your life with gusto. But if you find yourself overwhelmed, rest assured that you’re not alone, and that it’s completely normal to feel that way. Instead of trying to change everything in massive strokes, realize the lesson you need to learn from this time, be it saving a bit more money, taking stock of who you want to spend time with, giving more attention to self-care, do the thing you’ve been avoiding, stop running away from a problem.

It’s not just the BIG things we need to change and learn about from these times. Quite often the little steps lay the foundation for a great path, and it’s the smaller lessons that shape the way we lead our lives.

The Ironman Triathalon doesn’t take just anyone. You not only have to know how to swim, bike, and run, but you have to be really good at all three to win.

The mindset of the successful Ironman competitor is simple. If you’re naturally talented at all three skills, you’ve got it made. You’re lucky and rare.

If you’re great at running and biking, but need to improve swimming, you have a hard road ahead. You don’t wince about the extra effort spent swimming because you realize it’s part of the race. If you don’t swim well, you don’t win, no matter how great you bike or run.

These competitors tell themselves “I’m going to get good at it” in order to accomplish their goal. Putting in the extra effort and concentrating on swimming, they often decrease their overall time in the race. They know the power of focused attention in the direction of a challenge; the extra time spent swimming is time well spent at the end of the race.

If you’re not good at all 3,why not win at something else?

We talk a great deal about shapes. Boxes and lines and filling vacuums. Drawing yourself inside or outside the box, stepping outside of the lines, and filling up space when there is space to fill.

I also hear “We’ve come full circle” which amuses me even more.

It’s interesting how these shapes describe simply and elegantly our framework for how we view the world. You’re not left ruminating about what type of a person you are, or where you should stretch yourself, or where you feel most comfortable.

You’re either inside the box or on the outside. You either fill the space or you don’t.

Sometimes you’re a square, sometimes you’re not.

Shapes put a moratorium on thinking and analyzing and anxiety. They tell you quietly and directly what shape you should take next. Maybe your current shape is confining something another shape may enhance.

They motivate without being in your face. They’re just shapes, after all.

Sometimes it’s not intellectual discourse that you need, or analysis or feedback or lessons. Sometimes it takes a shape to help you see what you already know. A box or triangle or line that helps you come “full circle.”