Today’s post is about a topic my pal Seth Godin wrote a book on; Linchpin: Are you Indispensable. I helped publish it and wrote a post inside, so it’s close to my heart, but I love it because it’s about not waiting for someone to choose you. For anything.
I LOVE choosing myself. Always have.
Most other life skills elude me, but this one’s always come naturally.
My stance on this is we must ALWAYS choose ourselves.
We are our own greatest asset.
The one thing we have for the rest of our lives. Why would we not invest everything to find out what makes us feel powerful, and stand up for ourselves every single time? To fight for the perfect position, the best partner, the very best seat at the table.
The best way to do this is by taking personal responsibility.
Personal responsibility means you take your life into your own hands.
Through action, you show that you don’t wait for people, opportunities, or hand-delivered soul-mates and jobs.
You take it because, baby, it’s yours.
Like this little guy
I make a lot of mistakes. Every day I embarrass myself more with something I should already know by now.
But one thing I am not, is a blamer.
Blame is lame.
I operate with a high degree of personal responsibility and don’t go around blaming people, things or the world at large.
Because of it, I often feel proud of myself. Joyful, even.
It applies to business 100%, because every client, opportunity, or collaboration gets to a point where things get loosey goosey – will I get the gig? Will they sign up for more? Will the deal go through? With lots of time between idea to fruition and many moving parts, operating with anything less than a stratospheric level of personal responsibility WILL screw you up for sure.
It also applies to relationships. Without personal responsibility, emotional triggers run wild and you say things like, “Men just never understand me…” “Women are all too dramatic…”
I hear people say this stuff and it drives me BANANAS.
Out of 7 billion people, not a single one understands you?
That is insane. Full stop.
Listen, I’m not hating on the person doing the blaming, I’m hating on the thought pattern itself.
Because victim mentality zaps every ounce of vitality and agency you have.
You remove hope when you wait and rely passively on “others;” others who don’t have a clue about what’s best for YOU, I’ll add.
Your ability to think creatively goes out the window and in fact, you absolve yourself of having to do any of the thinking in the first place; you’re too busy relying on the perfect solution to simply show up instead.
To think like this is to lie to yourself. You give away all your power when you do this.
It reinforces the incorrect belief that the world’s goodies are stacked against you. From that entitled view, you feel that just because you want something, means you’re owed it.
Every single professional opportunity that mattered – working with Seth & Steve McCurry, interviewing peeps for Fear.less, making a documentary with a Nobel Peace Prize winner, speaking on stage – every single thing was something I pitched myself for; I hurled myself into the big, bad, scary, exciting, world and TRIED. HARD. Sometimes convinced that no way would it work out, but whatever, LET’S GO.
So when I hear people say they want a great relationship, or their boss to pay more attention to them, or more money, but they keep waiting and talking and waiting and talking, I know they’re not serious. “They never got back to me.” “My family doesn’t understand me..” “She never replied to my email and now I don’t know what to do…” these are the words they use.
But if you’re serious about what you want – solutions, freedom, opportunities – you have to operate with a high degree of personal responsibility. There’s just no way around it.
I’ll talk about all this on the call. If you want to stop blaming, show up. Show up for yourself and your life and figure it out because it’s worth it. I know that when I, myself, don’t like how I’m operating, something’s gotta change.
Choose yourself. Take personal responsibility.
It gets easier if you practice. Don’t trust me, just try it. Click here to register for the call.
We both know I’m not the only person in the world who can teach this to you. Obvi. But I’m here. I’m willing. I’m able. Most of all, I can’t not share it with you because it continues to help me feel powerful each day. I’ll keep telling you till you throw tomatoes.
To creating, not waiting