We’re anxious, fearful, insecure people. These parts have a lot of pull over us. Sometimes, even when we fight against our own wretchedness and try to improve, we still lose. We begin to believe that no matter how much we do, we just can’t change. Hopelessness is created and sustained by self-bullying.
What if instead of exhausting ourselves with doubt, we listened to the parts of us that encourage?
You know the ones. We forget them because it takes quiet and safety for them to come out, and they don’t come out often. They don’t come out often because bullying ourselves doesn’t make us feel safe.
But these parts do – very much – exist. And when they are heard and heeded, they’re powerful.
They give you energy rather than make you spend it. You feel nourished, not judged. Sustained, not drained. They show you that you’re all right, maybe better than you think. You’re comfortable, at ease, able to pause instead of quickly react. They show you that even you might be kind and honest.
You may have felt these parts when you’ve:
- supported a friend even if he’s disagreed with you
- expressed patience with a challenging colleague at work
- allowed yourself to smile at someone despite your angry, defensive mood
- laughed so hard at a joke that it made you laugh all day when you thought about it
- asked someone else how they were feeling even though you felt extremely sad
- paused and noticed if you were about to create unnecessary personal drama
- had a good idea for a project that you didn’t care if others approved of
- written a line, an article, a blog post, a note to a friend that made you smile
- held back and given guidance only when your child asked for it
- pushed yourself to learn something small you didn’t think you could learn
- felt the sincere kindness of a stranger that made you feel very grateful
- went to a meeting even though you felt nervous to contribute
- walked outside in the cold in a big puffy coat alone or with your dog and felt cozy
- completed a task that weighed heavy on your mind for weeks prior
- remembered someone you once loved who taught you something about yourself
- done the dishes or made dinner even though you really didn’t want to
- stayed calm for even a minute during an intense situation or conversation
- felt lonesome and sad and instead of drinking beer, you ate carrots
- shared your second idea even though everyone hated your first one
Sometimes you really make an effort and things work out great. Other times things turn out only okay. That’s fine. Even though you may feel like a hopeless, sleepwalking, nervous fool, these parts show you otherwise. You have proof!
They remind you, “Hey you – you’re more than just your hungry, habitual parts, remember? Remember that one time you did that thing for that person and you felt super good and strong?” Your good parts know what you’re really made of.
They show you the fresh reserves of strength, tact, creativity, and gratitude hidden behind your fear. They show you the power in listening beyond the noisy parts, the scary parts, the parts that will make you go deaf if you allow them. They reveal the parts of you that matter.
Today, right now, take some time to pause and listen to your special, good parts. You may not have seen them in a while, but they’re there, waiting to be heard.
If you don’t listen, who will?