Today’s video is about what to do when you feel like shit. (“Crap” was more diplomatic but if I’m honest, shit feels like shit, am I right?)
My brother and I talked yesterday about how to get out of a rut. Then my client sent me this email the same night:
“I spent the weekend feeling like shit, it forced me to evaluate things. I realized: It’s been a really long time since I’ve shipped/created anything or pushed myself. I’ve been going through the motions & getting in a rut. I need to get out, but I don’t know how to find the spark or what to do.”
I had two conversations about this, and I know we’re not the only ones talking about our struggles behind closed doors. Maybe you’re going through it too?
Open the door. Let some light in. No more shame: it only makes things heavier and gets you deeper in the rut.
First: if you feel like shit and realize you need to reevaluate your life, that’s an indicator of good mental health. If you’re in the doldrums – a constant state of malaise or inactivity – and you don’t want to “go through the motions” anymore, fistbump yourself! You know something’s off and want to get back ON.
Second, I’m the QUEEN of listening to my feelings. It’s my rule of thumb …EXCEPT at one very specific time: Doldrums time!
When I’m in a rut or feel stuck, I do NOT trust my feelings. In the video I explain why: it was seeking comfort & security in the first place that got you into the doldrums; those same feelings aren’t going to get you out. If you’re numbed out, your feelings wire you to survive, not make high-level choices; they lean you toward inaction and complacency. Note: I’m not referring to Clinical Depression, which should be treated individually.
Here’s a summary of what I share in the video & 4 ways to get out of a rut.
1. Determine what phase of rut or struggle you’re in.
Are you opting out of life because of a particular situation, trauma, or circumstance? Or just because…or you don’t know why. Identify first.
2. If you know you’re in the doldrums, do NOT trust your feelings.
If you feel like shit, your brain is wired for short-term pleasure, not delayed gratification for what will ACTUALLY make you feel better.
3. Trust ANYTHING else besides your feelings. A system, a routine, another person, follow a rule. Anything but that feeling inside.
4. Get uncomfortable.
Getting shaken up is your #1 goal right now. It’ll feel uncomfortable, but it’s the exact thing you’re resisting that will bring you relief and joy once you confront it.
Do not let yourself think it’s useless and hope is lost. Or that you’ll stay here forever and never change. These are stories we’re used to telling ourselves so we remain stagnant – they’re not true.
Truth is: help is available. It may not come how you picture it, but specific tools, resources, or people can help you get unstuck. And most of all, if you want it, it’s possible TO CHANGE THE SITUATION.