Recently, we’ve felt pressures from corners of our lives we thought we had down – our jobs, our relationships, our identities. To quell our discomfort, I often hear, ”embrace these times to do what you’ve always wanted” or “now you can redesign your life the way you’ve dreamed.”

These phrases have great intentions, but offer less solace to those trying to make real change. While it may seem like the right thing to do, big sweeping decisions that alter the course of our lives can overshadow the smaller, more powerful lessons we can learn from these times. It doesn’t have to be, “Should I stay in this job or should I stay with my husband?” It can be much simpler: “Why do i feel this way about this person?” “Why haven’t I felt comfortable at this job?”  ”What efforts should I make now to get to where i want to be 3 years from now?”

Everything happens for a reason, but the reason is much simpler than we think. Perhaps it isn’t to teach every Wall St. analyst to quit his job, take up his dreams, and embark on a life based on his passions. What if the reason was just: learn something. Anything. About ourselves, our lives, our dreams, our goals. If instead of Earth-shattering realizations we learned the small lessons that ultimately created powerful changes in our lives, we would really be taking advantage of these troubling times.

Let’s not make it all or nothing. Let’s not get depressed if we’re unsure of our dream job or the career we want to create or be who we want to be. Let’s not feel upset at the person who uses this time to turn their life around and fulfill their dreams. Let’s create our own opportunity out of these times and learn something that sustains us for true transformation.

Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, though we fight to make it so. Sometimes it does, but it’s not fun to wait around for it. Embrace new ideas and goals and paths in your life with gusto. But if you find yourself overwhelmed, rest assured that you’re not alone, and that it’s completely normal to feel that way. Instead of trying to change everything in massive strokes, realize the lesson you need to learn from this time, be it saving a bit more money, taking stock of who you want to spend time with, giving more attention to self-care, do the thing you’ve been avoiding, stop running away from a problem.

It’s not just the BIG things we need to change and learn about from these times. Quite often the little steps lay the foundation for a great path, and it’s the smaller lessons that shape the way we lead our lives.